So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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