But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
