Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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