they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
