Your tits are I can't wait for
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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