Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bring me that man meat
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
