Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did i walk over a car last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
