I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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