i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
