I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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