Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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