y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
