And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
