As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
