once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
