fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
