Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
