Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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