I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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