i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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