we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
