marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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