How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
