If that was your dad, he is hot
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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