As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
