Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
