Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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