new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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