so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
