i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
