Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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