Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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