i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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