I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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