I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
