This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
