my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
