Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
