a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
