Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize