Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
false alarm, still single
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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