Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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