i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
