Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
