I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
