At least make sure they are 18
Why
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize