everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize