p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize