So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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