Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
