love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.