your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?