Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.