my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.