People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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