I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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