Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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