Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
