I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
