i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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