Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
