More tranny stories later!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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