Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
