I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
