i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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