Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
