you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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